Dating Detectives
by charlotteprentiss
Summary: AU. Kathy and the kids never existed. Elliot persuades Olivia to sign up to a dating site. I wonder who she'll find...
1. Prologue

**A/N: Partly inspired by a fic I saw for a different TV show.**

'Liv, you should really check it out.' Elliot nudged her.

'Ell, I'm fine. I don't need to go on some online match-making service.'

'But it's for officers though.'

'Thanks, but no thanks.'

'Hey, I'm just looking out for ya'.'

'Well I'm managing as it is…'

He picked his bag up and left the precinct. 'See you later then.'

Olivia tapped on her keyboard. 'I guess it can't hurt' she said to herself as she filled in the basic details. She was interrupted by her phone ringing. 'Hello?'

_'It's me'_ Elliot said on the other end.

'Hey…'

_'So have you signed up to the site?'_

'No.' She lied as she clicked through the final stages of signing up.

_'Don't lie, Liv. I can hear you tapping away…'_

'I'm not on _that _website…'

_'I've known you for over fourteen years, I know when you're lying.'_

'Oh shut up.' She retaliated.

_'It's nothing to be ashamed of-'_

'-and why would I be ashamed?'

_'You're the one keeping it secret.'_

'Whatever, Ell.'

_'As a matter of fact I signed myself up to it…'_

'Any luck?'

_'Ehh'_ he sighed._ 'Can't say I like what I'm seeing.'_

'Maybe that will change soon…'

_'Maybe…'_

_**To be continued...**_


	2. GoodCop66

**Change in writing style in this- hope you like the different approach!**

Oliva's phone pinged as she sat at her desk in the precinct.

_ItalianStallion72 has sent you a message._

'Lover boy?' Elliot mocked.

'No. I haven't spoken to them before…'

'What does it say?'

'Mind your own business…' she quickly looked down at her phone.

_'Vice.  
40.  
Two kids, divorced.  
Free around 9, wanna meet up?'_

'C'mon, tell me!' He scooted over on his chair and peered over her shoulder.

'Ergh.' She passed him the phone. 'No thanks.'

He laughed. 'Blunt, isn't he?'

'Tacky. Desperate.'

'Vice' he noted. 'Not bad.'

'Elliot, every guy in vice has something wrong with them. It's a known fact.'

'Such as…'

'Lives with their mother, secret heroin addiction, foot fetish.'

'And how do you know this?'

'Casey.'

He carried on. '40… Two kids. Liv, there you go! You love kids…'

'Correction. I'd love to have kids.' She confirmed her point again. 'Of my own.'

'Well if he has two, he's probably up for more.'

'I wouldn't do that. Just no. Most kids despise their step-mothers…'

'Oh c'mon Liv, give him a chance! He even wants to meet up with you later!'

She snatched her phone back before he could hook her up with some creep from vice. 'I'll take my chances and decline…'

'Whatever…' he began to scoot back to his desk.

'Have you had any luck?'

He hummed. 'Eh… Don't like what I'm seeing…'

'Charming.' Olivia went back to work and turned her phone onto silent so he didn't know if she had more responses.

Her phone lit up in her handbag. _GoodCop66 has sent you a message. _She knew he'd notice if she messed with her phone again and waited until lunch to message back.

_'Hi! I've seen your profile and it seems like we'd get on. Would you like to chat sometime? X'_

Even though it wasn't as forward or as creepy as her earlier message, she was still freaked out by the whole online dating concept. 'Better not seem too eager' she said to herself as Elliot tucked into a meatball sub.

'I see you're on your phone again' he said, biting into the baguette.

'And you're on yours! It's not a crime y'know.'

'Well I'll be honest. I'm looking for a date on this site. What are you doing?' he asked sarcastically. 'Turning somebody down because they're from vice, again?'

'Shut up, Ell.'

'Never!' He flicked a bit of tomato sauce in her direction but it narrowly missed.

'Stop being a pig! You'll never get a woman acting like that!'

Fin interrupted them. 'Acting like what?'

Olivia pointed to the floor. 'Flicking crap at me!'

He looked down and then to the two detectives. 'Man…' he sighed.

'Problem?' Elliot asked, still giddy from laughing at Olivia's reaction.

'Yeah I do as a matter of fact!' Fin said half seriously, half joking. 'You two! You mess about, you're always together and you flirt like there's no tomorrow and yet you're not together. Beyond me…'

'We hardly flirt.' Olivia and Elliot said in sync, causing them to look at each other and stare.

'See!' Fin hit his head in despair. 'Just hook up, and save us all a bunch of time.'

Olivia frowned. 'Actually, I'm setting up a date. Right now.' She picked up her phone and began to respond.

_BadassGirl67: Sure… How about now? _

Elliot's phone pinged.

_GoodCop66: Sounds good, on my lunch break._

_GoodCop66: So… Where do you work? _

_BadassGirl67: Secret :$ _

_GoodCop66: Typical cop. _

_BadassGirl67: …I wouldn't like to think I'm that typical, lol._

_GoodCop66: Same. Kids?_

_BadassGirl67: None L Maybe one day though… Yourself?_

_GoodCop66: Same here. I see a lot of vulnerable kids with my job. I'd like to adopt as well as having kids of my own._

'Oh wow.' Olivia sighed. 'I think I'm in love.'

Elliot looked up from his desk. 'What now?'

'Oh nothing you'd appreciate' she mocked. 'Just talking to a really nice guy.'

_BadassGirl67: Drink? Smoke?_

_GoodCop66: Sometimes, and no. Perfect date: where would you go?_

_BadassGirl67: My place or his. Pizza to eat, and then just hang out._

_GoodCop66: My kind of girl! Sorry, I feel like I'm interrogating you._

_Badassgirl67: Hey, it's our job! Lol._

_GoodCop66: Most important question. Mets or Yankees?_

_Badassgirl67: Mets. The Yankee's are overrated. _

_GoodCop66: Good answer! Lol!_

_Badassgirl67: Talk later. Got to go kick some ass xx_

_GoodCop66: Later!x_

Elliot looked from his desk. 'You look happy.'

'Well I've just spoken to a really nice guy…'

He toyed with his phone and contemplated telling her who he had been talking to. 'Oh what is he like? On second thought, he's probably a weirdo, I don't want to know…'

'Oh that's not nice.' She commented.

'I'm feeling in that kind of mood.'

'I've noticed.' She trailed off as she began to fill in some paperwork.

'So what does your profile say?' he interrupted her workflow.

'Not telling! But if you find me and show me, then I'll confirm if it's my profile.'

'Sounds fair.' He threw his phone from palm to palm. 'Busty brunette, early 40s, can handle her gun.'

'Definitely not.' She commented, unimpressed.

'Hey! I was being nice.'

'I don't care. I'd never write that about myself, even if it was true.'

'It is true.'

'Whatever, Elliot. I need to get back to work. I don't know why you're being so playful today. Sometimes, I swear, you're just like a kid.'

He laughed and screwed a piece of paper up and threw it onto her desk. 'Just trying to be nice!'

'Leave me alone!' she threw the paper back.

'What did I say?' Fin came out of nowhere. 'You two just need to hook up and stop messing about.'

Munch appeared behind him. 'I agree. Most of us here are either divorced or single. You two just need to shack up...'

'Get out of here' Elliot retaliated. 'Why don't you two shack up?'

Olivia had been ignoring the men. 'See! What has gotten into you today?'

'Nothing. It's you! Being all PMS-y with me.'

She looked up. 'Firstly, no. Secondly, no again. Just no.'

'Whatever,'

'I seriously can't wait to have a date to get you off my back!'

'I love you too, Olivia' he mocked.


End file.
